First Year Done

I remember the day my family left me in my dorm room and I knew the independence I had to carry for these next 9 months. I knew no one at my university, let alone anything about the real world. Well, this is to my first year of college and what I have learned since that first moment when I knew I was independent.

Friends

They always tell you “your friends in high school can never compare to your friends in college”, and well, let me tell you first hand that is true. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my high school friends who I love so much, but my college friends, that is another story. I think college friends are even better because they also are going through exactly what I am going through. I could encounter a person once, and they had a huge impact on my life, because of their genuine soul and heart they had for me. I left college with someone of my lifelong friends, and right now I wanna thank them. Our first year together was not easy, we went through hell and back a few times, but you guys stuck by me all year, and some even just this last semester and I wanna thank you for that. We had nights of tears, laughter, anger, and even nights we never wanna forget no matter what happened then, and in our tough times, please remember these nights, because let us be honest, it is what got us through this first year. Thank you for spotting me a few bucks when my paycheck was a little low that week, I promise when were successful we will make up for these times, but for now we will struggle together. Along with that, thank you for showing me such unconditional love that I have never felt before. I wake up everyday and I know that I will never have to go without feeling loved, and let me tell you, that is a feeling I never knew until I got here and it is because of my amazing friends.

Finances

I never knew what broke was until I would get excited that my mom sent me cup of noodles every month because she knew that is what I was surviving on. Even with two jobs through this year, I still struggled. But I am so thankful for freshman year struggles, it made me so humble and grateful for the hard work my parents put in all these years to get me to where I am. There were many days I went without eating, but let me tell you those home cooked meals Auntie would make on Wednesday at bible study made up for those days. And another thing, you may go to the shops and want to live lavishly, but I promise not having the newest thing is okay. For one, we are in college, we are broke and everyone knows that, learn from me, you would rather have a meal than the newest fashion style. And another thing, when it comes to moving out, you will curse at yourself the whole time for thinking it was okay to buy all this crap in excitement. Save your money now, it will be worth it in the long run.

Health

Freshman 15 is a lie. That is a myth, I mean, it does happen, but it’s a myth. I remember before I left for college my mother telling me to not over do it at the cafe and wanting me to keep tabs on what I ate so I wouldn’t gain weight, but I actually lost weight. A few tips, cafe food is actually not the best at every campus, stick to the fresh things, fruits and salads, it taste way better then that pizza every night. Also, walk. It may get tiring some days and you may be running late some morning lectures, but I promise skipping the class shuttle and leaving your dorm a few minutes early will count in the long run. I went to the gym a total of three times in my freshman year of college and I swear it did not kill me that I was not there everyday. I mean do not get me wrong take care of your body, but don’t kill yourself doing it. There are plenty of healthy options on your campus, pick them, they usually taste better. And just stick to walking. I was lucky to attend a University by beautiful beaches surrounding me, but no matter where your college is, you can find physical activity inside or outside, utilize those sources.

Academics

School is so much harder than you think, high school did not prepare this for me. It’s hard when you want to have a social life, you need to work, along with studying enough for all your courses. But if you have amazing friends, like I did, they will have the priority of studying also. Some have different study techniques, which is fine, but try and take this time to spend with friends who might also be in the same course and make the best of this time as studying and hanging out with friends. Trust me, your parents do not want to see anything but a passing grade because they are paying too much for you to be messing around too much.

My first year could not have been any better. I meet some amazing people, learned how to deal with people who I just do not get along with, and lost some life long friends just because of the distance. But aside from that I learned a lot about myself and the world around me. DO NOT just go to college thinking it’s a party. Appreciate the education and venture out to the new cities around you, it will all be worth it.

Advertisements

Hurt

It comes a time in your life when you are faced with hurt, whether it be when you are a child falling off your bike, scraping your knee, or being in middle school and being bullied because that is what middle schoolers, or even later in life being hurt by what you consider a best friend or significant other. Its inevitable, we will be hurt. But does that make it hurt? Knowing that no matter where we go we will be faced with hurt from others or ourself?

Through my whole life I have suffered with hurt from others to me, intentional and unintentional and even from myself and I always knew it was never right. Starting with my parents making bad decisions leading to the life I have and having to wake up everyday hurting knowing that I would never have the white picket fence family. Leading to middle school where kids were just hurtful in their words and actions, and then getting to high school and having that boy that I thought would always be in my life hurt me. And even now in college, I hurt everyday.

I have had my family hurt me, my professors, just normal people in the community, and even some of the closest people in my life at this moment. But even with hurt surrounding us every day it is the way we react to it that is how the hurt defines us.

So we have two options here: we left this hurt define us and prove to those hurting us that we are as weak as they see us or we take that hurt and let it motivate us to prove them wrong.

In my life I first let this hurt define me in a negative way, I let it show my weakness. But now as the years have gone on and I have grown and grown up, I have taken this weakness from the hurt and let it turn me into a stronger person. I used to be the person who let everyone walk over me, I would never stand up for what was right when it came to the way people treated others and me, but now it is not like that.

Hurt can be a negative thing, it can damage a person with long or short term affects, but now we need to see it as a positive thing. We need to take the hurt in ourselves and use it to build from our flaws. We have so many people today telling others hurtful things and finding the wrongs instead of the rights in them, but as a society we need to take the hurt that we are creating away, since there is already so much hurt in this world.

All I want to do in life is make for a better tomorrow, and it’s the actions we make everyday that will make for that better tomorrow. Take away the hurt from our lives starting at this moment and only spread the positive and nice comments to others and let us see how this world changes.

I know that I did hurt, and some days I do still hurt, but it is up to me to take those negative comments and gain from them. But now it is also up to us as a society to stop those negative comments and learn to love so we can be loved.

Acceptance

As I continue into my second semester as a freshman in college I have seen my life take a complete 180, and for the better.

As I went home for winter break I got to see all of the people I called friends in high school and got to hear about their amazing college experience and see the similarities and differences in our lives, now that we are living our lives the same but so different at the same time.

I also got to reconnect with my friends who chose to stay closer to home and choose a different path of work and school at a two year school, which is just as amazing no matter what anyone says.

And seeing these two perspectives at the same time back in my home town I finally realized, I have accepted life. I have accepted the fact that we HAD to graduate high school,  we HAD to make a decision to continue our education or start in the work for right away, or even the military. And for some people they had yet to find that acceptance, which was strange for me to see at first, but I have later come to my own thoughts and finally see that that is what is comfortable for some peoples acceptance levels right now in their life.

Now that I am in college I finally had the opportunity to live through what people have said to me; “You wont keep the same friends in college that you had in high school”. I always laughed when people told me that, I always thought that I would find the most amazing friends in high school that would stand by me no matter what. But I had to come to the acceptance that that is not the case at all.

I had to come to the acceptance that I had friends in high school that, in reality, did not have the same pathway that I had, or that some friends wanted to postpone this pathway I am in to get settled in the real world first. And the crazy thing is, I have accepted that not everyone is going to do life in a traditional way, and that is okay.

But what I know is not acceptable is not accepting what my friends have chosen for their life pathways.

I want nothing but to be accepting of my friends and family from my hometown and support them in their dreams, but I have come to the realization that those people I would do anything for have changed their mentality since I was home the last time, and that is completely acceptable.

I am taking a sociology course this semester that has really opened my eyes. It has opened my eyes to acceptance in society, and has influenced me to write this post on acceptance. I know that our lives and lifestyles will be different now, but does that mean that the people we once were has to change so drastically?

I know the choices I am choosing are right, they will benefit me in the long run and that is what matters. And I know that my friends back on the mainland living out their lives are choosing the right choices for them and I am nothing but accepting and proud of them.

Take a different outlook on life, accept others, what they are, what they do, what they want to achieve. I think the small things like this are what will start to make this world a better place.

“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard see, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Matthew 17:20

New Life

Hi guys. Sorry it’s been so long. So much has happened since my last post. And as much as I would like to say I stopped writing for good reasons, I didn’t. I went though some of the darkest times the end of my senior year, but it lead me to the best time of my life. I am now continuing my education in Hawaii and I could not be more thankful. I have lost a lot of high school friends but I was able to find true friends that I needed now for my time in life. I have learned so much since my birthday, around the last time I posted. I was in a very bad car accident that made me question a lot of things. For one why God loves me. I walked away from that accident with no scratches and some bruises when my car was completely totaled. I knew that day I would do nothing but love and cherish my Heavenly Father. A few months down the road I finally made the decision to cut connects with a friend that I loved a lot and now months down the road I see that in that hard time is was worth the pain and sadness and that I got through that pain with Heavenly Father. I also got to make my childhood dream come real, I finally got the chance to further my education in Hawaii. I know I would have never had this opportunity without me being determined and leaning on the Lord for help and guidance. These past 8 months have changed my life so drastically since last November and I could not be any happier with my life. I am still growing every day, learning from the people and culture of my new home, and trying to find myself but I have learned a lot that I need the Lord for my help. No matter what I or anyone I know goes through I hope that we always remember to have the Lord by our side because through our toughest or hardest time in life He is the one man to never leave anyone’s side no matter the circumstances. I am so forever grateful for the gospel and that it is the same no matter where I am and I wanna thank everyone in my life forever. Until next blog. 

Much Love 

Reality

hi guys sorry I have been hiding for so long! life has just been full force recently. I have gotten into two colleges so far, with very big opportunities at both, I have almost completed my big project to graduate, the new year. it’s all come full force and I’ve taken each trial as it comes. 

just the other day life hit me hard, literally. I totaled my car during my lunch time and I could not have been more devastated. I was turning left onto a big intersection going half speed, and my steering wheel would not turn, forcing me to hit the curb, which then made my car slide across the street until I hit the center. both of my air bags deployed and my window had broken. sadly I was in the car with my best friend and all I could think to do was look at her and call my mom as fast as possible. 

right before the accident I was stopped next to a few of my other friends in their cars and we were laughing and blasting music, being high schoolers. as I went to turn all I can remember hearing is my best friends telling “TURN BRITTNY TURN”.

as we got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk I remember all of my friends and classmates drive by to see my accident, I was so embarrassed. 

as the day went on my body hurt more and more. I had a bump on my head, leading to a nonstop migraine, bruises all down my legs, cuts on my hands and even a bruise, and sore muscles from being jolted. 

through all of my shock and hurt I have amazing friends and this made me realize it. we all know that I have had struggles with friends this year and trying to find the true ones and this accident showed me who’s there. I received numerous text and calls right after the accident eve into the next day asking how I’m feeling and coping with it. 

these types of problems in my life I try and keep hidden because I know there is worse in the world, so it is taking me a lot to write this message haha. 

the main reason I was inspired by this accident is because, it’s true, it could all end in the blink of an eye. this accident helped me appreciate life even more than I thought I could. yes my car is totaled. yes I am in pain emotionally and physically. but I’m alive and so is my best friend. 

I’m almost of legal age, and I thought this kind of traumatic experience could never happen to anyone my age, but man was I wrong. I am just grateful that the accident happened the way it did when it did because it could have only been worse. 

reality does what it wants when it wants and all we can do is stand up, look it in the eye, and say bring it on, because no matter what life goes on and things like this cannot stop us, really nothing can. we are all given trials to overcome and build us up, never to bring us down. I love every trial I receive and I know I am only becoming a better person because of it. 

I am forever grateful for those who have come and gone, and those who chose to stay. you made me who I am today and stood by me in my hardest times and I can’t thank you enough. I love all of you and thank you for being in my life. 

New year, better choices

Happy New Years to all of my readers. I am so happy to the life I had this past year. As I look back on my life, I really saw how I matured and how I grew up in 2015. 

Not only did I have to prepare for adulthood and college, but I had to prepare for real life. I have seen that high school only teaches you about a how to compete in a competition of who is better. But as a senior we have to teach ourselves that we must stand up for what we believe in, and to only have people who want to bring you up, because in real life, you either get brought to failure by the people you are surrounding yourself with, or you achieve all of your goals. 

Some days I wish I could stand in front of everyone I know and just shout “THIS IS NOT LIFE. WE CAN ONLY BUILD OUTSELVES!”, but I know that God wants us all to learn on our own. 

I would just like to thank 2015, you put people in my life for the first time ever, you let me reconnect with old friends, you took some of those friends away but not entirely, I only lost one person from death, I grew up to see life as something else, and most importantly I learned who I need to be right now.

But as for 2016, I am deciding that I only make myself happy and not depend on others because that is what leads to disappointment and sadness. This year I will work harder to be a healthier person, and by that I do not mean cut out everything that Satan has sent my way like In-N-Out and ice cream, but what I mean is take into consideration what I am doing to my body and ways I can be better. This year I will put my phone and electronics down more and look at people’s faces and learn about the world to help make it better. 

I am so eager to step into 2016 full force and find myself more and learn more things. Thank you to all that have supported me, brought me down, lifted me up, and everyone that has crossed my path. I love you all and cannot wait to see the things that are done this year. God bless 

Thankful

Lately I have just been so thankful and grateful for the life I have been given. 

I am healthy. 

I have family. (that love me)

I have friends that support me. 

I have a free education that is helping me further my education. 

I have the gospel. (I’m LDS)

And this list is just a few of the things I have that I am so grateful for. 

After this holiday season started I realized that these were the things I needed to thank God for everyday because a year from now I will be starting a new life away from all of these wonderful things that I cannot express how much I love. 

I just wanted to write a thank you letter. Not to people I see everyday but to my Heavenly Father. 

Thank you for everything you have placed my in my life: my friends, my trials, my triumphs, the opportunities I’ve had. I am forever grateful and love every part of it. I love my bad days just as much as I love my good days because everyday I grow and build up. 

I want to challenge everyone to remember to be thankful, not just now during the season for everyday of the year the rest of their lives. 

I love you all and thank you for the support and taking time to read my blog.