Goodbyes

I hope that you all took my challenge of looking around at your friends and realizing which ones are there to uplift you and make you a better person and you made an effort to show your apprectiation with them.

I personally know I struggled with my own challenge, I had to step back and see who benefitted me most and brought me up. Sadly, a week later the decision is still up in the air for the other party but I know the decision I made, and I know that it was the right decision, and when it comes time to share my decision, I pray we made the same one.

This past week I reflected a lot on my life after high school. I know that I will be attending a four year, which has been my goal since I was 8-years old. My heart breaks though when I think about college. My dream college has always  been in Hawaii, that has always been my dream, to live for four years in a paradise. But now as I apply for colleges, and face the real life sadness of the goodbyes I will be saying less than 8 months.

I brought this up to my best friend. She has decided to attend a JC, and I have never been more proud of someone, she has made the choice to further her education and that just makes me so proud of her. But with this choice we will be forced to seperate in a year, and that breaks us both. We both had to realize that our goodbye is coming, that we will not wake up everyday knowing we will see each other in an hour, that we cannot just call each other up and meet in the next 7 minutes it takes to get to each others houses, that on Sunday’s we can not go up to our hang out spot and talk about all the people that have upset us in any way.

With that being said, I go back to my challenge last week, with knowing that college is around the corner, I had to choose who I wanted to conquer that journey with and it is not only my one best friend deciding to be local when she starts her college career, but also my other best friend that is applying to four years like me. I personally made mistakes this week that might affect my decision but I know that in a year when I move into my dorm they are the only girls I will want to call up to tell them about the new cute boys, the town I live in, how my roommates have their own weird habits, and knowing this makes goodbye so hard for me. Knowing that I will not share such an important event in my life with my two best friends kills me because whenever a big event (or even small) occurs in my life, they are the two I go to first, no matter what.

But I will not only be leaving my best friends but my family. I watched my sister go to college a few years back and that was the number one saddest thing to happen in my life thus far. I remember how sad and quiet my house was for the first time in 16 years, since I was the last one to be home. No longer were there over 10 teenagers in  my house all hanging out, no longer did my mom need to make abundance of food for our friends just randomly showing up for dinner, and I know as I leave the house everything will be different. This is my last year for home cooked meals every night by my mom, the last year for my step dad to nag me to close my bedroom door because my floor is too messy, or them telling me to turn off my light every time I leave my room. I know personally I will miss these things the most.

I want everyone, even those done with all of their schooling to embrace everything in their life everyday. As I grow closer to adulthood I see how easy it is for people to just be gone in a blink of an eye, or how your health fails you more often than not. Everyone needs to face the facts that real goodbyes are coming our way and we do not want to regret anything. Say how you truly feel to a person, because if they listen, then they are a true friend and you need to keep them around. Leave a situation if you are not happy, say those types of goodbyes, because if you keep getting hurt you will no longer be a happy, lively person, and  I personally think everyone should be like that.

Now since I did not update last week, I have lost an overall of 21.8 pounds since I have started my  weight loss journey. I look in the mirror every morning and see the progress, and my stomach shrinking.

I would like to thank everyone who has complimented me on my accomplishments, and noticing what I am doing in my life to be a better person, those compliments keep me going some days. And for those that read my blog and take something from it, thank you for supporting me.

I love all of you

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Society

you know what sucks? People. I mean some people are cool. Like my best friends, they’re pretty amazing. But when you look at people in a whole, in the society they are raised in they can be pretty crappy. 

This week at school was the start of homecoming season. Girls getting asked (or not asked, like me) or trying to find someone to go with. But don’t forget, they need the perfect dress that no one has and the right shoes to dance in all night. And one last thing, a homecoming king and queen. 

Don’t get me wrong I love homecoming. I’ve gone before but the homecoming court is solely based off of the society in high school. It’s first based off who the prettiest is, and don’t forget their popularity because that will totally matter in a year when we’re at college. And the king has to be either their boyfriend or the person they are messing with (you know (; ). 

And when I look at this society in school, in HIGH SCHOOL, I see it in the real world. The ones who are rich and every one just HAS to be their friends. Then those people, down to earth, love everyone for who they are and not their image or amount of money they have, and then the people who are like a speck of dirty on your sunglasses. They are noticed, but in a negative way. They have no class or no money in some people’s eyes and they are the people that you look at and instantly don’t like because they aren’t wearing the newest style of jeans or don’t have money to eat out every night. 

But after this week I noticed something, we can only change that. Not our leaders or school administrators. Not our parents or bosses. We, in the generation we live in can all just chose to say screw the social latter, I can be the homeless man sleeping on the corner and my best friend could be living in a palace, and you wanna know why? Because we care about our character and what we bring to uplift each other. I think in this next week everyone who reads my blog should take the time to look at their life and their friends and see which ones are only with you because you have money or because they have money. Take time to reflect and see what these friendships bring into your life. Do they uplift you or bring you down? 

This week you need to decide which friends you should be keeping long term and spend more time with them, message them saying thank you for what they do for you and in a week see how much happier and better your life is. 

And now for my weight. I have not weighed in all week so I’m praying for the best on Monday. I will have a better update for next week. 

I love you guys. Thanks for the support you sent my way last week. You all rock!!!

Hello world!

So I’ve decided to start a blog, for a few reasons. One. It’s to help for a school project. Two. I want to be able to inspire someone, whether it be me by surprising myself in writing this blog or someone else in the world (if anyone else reads this besides me and my teacher)

At the beginning of June of 2015 I was presented with a project that is to be 30 of physical work whether it be community service, building something, learning some new talent, I literally could chose anything and so I chose to work out for my 30 hour project.

My whole life I have struggled with my self body image. I was always the tall one, I never could wear the clothes my friends were sharing, I, in my mind, stood out no matter where I was. And so this year with this project i chose to change myself, not for others, but for me.

This blog is going to be very personal. I will be changing names and locations for security purposes and for my own comfort if my fellow peers decide to look into my blog. This will also be a spot for me to record my health and well being throughout this year long project, and hopefully I can carry it on longer than that.

So since this is my project, i will start with my honest height and weight, which I have not even told my best friend because I have let the numbers on the scale define me.

My starting weight as of August 24: 270 and my height is 5′ 10″

Now I am writing this blog for myself and before I hear any gasp or looks of disgust at the computer screen. Please remember, you do not have to be reading this and can exit out of this page at any moment.

Now for those who have stayed this long to read about my random life in the small town I live in, thank you. And hopefully through this journey I can have your love and support.

I’ve decided I think I need to lay some ground rules for this blog just for my comfort and sanity

Please please please if you know me personally and read this blog please don’t bring it up to me. I already feel awkward writing about myself to myself for the public 

Another rule. There are no judgements on this blog. I will not judge you and please don’t judge me. What I am doing here is for myself and I thank you if you want to be respectful if you chose to be apart of this

I guess one last thing, please don’t try and give me tips on something. I am a person who wants to learn on my own. I will come to you when I need help but please do not shove it down my throat. 
P. S. After 3 weeks I have lost 10.6 pounds and I love life. 
Thank you guys ❤