I don’t really know.

wanted to start this out with i don’t know, but obviously in my title you can tell, i don’t know.

sometimes i sit here and i feel like i have my whole life figured out. the college i want to go to, the type of guy i want to met, when i want to get married and have kids, what career choice i want to be in. but then other days i sit here and think, i just don’t know. is my first choice of college really the right choice? are my friends the right friends? is what i am doing with my life the right thing? do i really want that type of man in my life, or that many kids?

i guess thats the thing about life, we just never really know. as of right now i cannot tell you i will be attending my first choice and that scares me. or that my friend choice right now will still be there when i start and end college.

we can only hope for the white picket fence and the two perfect kids and the well trained dog, but we will never know.

but we are all put here for a reason. even on a non-religious aspect, you have to somewhat believe that. we are here with the people around us for some reason, and that is one thing i know.

i think the surprises in life thrown at us is beneficial to us. not knowing everything is okay, not knowing everything is what makes us grow and learn about everything around us. i love that about the world. that is one time i do not mind not knowing everything. if i knew everything already i would not be here because we are here to learn.

maybe one day though, i will know. i will know why i go through the things i do. i will know the lifestyle i have when i am grown up, and i will know what my purpose in life is.

but as for right now, i do not care to know.  i want to just live my life and go with it all. and hopefully it goes smoothly, but it will lead me to knowing what this all means.

sorry this is 8 hours past wednesday, i feel asleep writing it.

i love you guys


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