I am writing this blog post today in hopes that only one certian person sees it. I will be polite and not include any names, and if I do they will not be real names. This is the apology letter I will never write.
I am not sorry. I am not sorry that you saw what I did I was wrong. Should I not be allowed to speak my feelings? You say you’re mad because I butted my nose in the wrong business, but I didn’t I just called you out on all the BS you were doing, but no one does that to you, no one dares to say you’re wrong and it is for this exact reason. You sit here on your high horse pushing your friends or as I see it serverants around telling them everything to do while they bask in your glory. And don’t say this is not true because I watchcd you do it today to your new “best friend” (P.S. it won’t last long after season ends). She wanted to sit in a certian spot that she was at in the first place but you were to lazy and stubborn to walk three feet to the next available seat and made her move. If you do not see that as wrong, I’m glad we are no longer friends because I would give up the world for you and you couldn’t even give up a seat for your friends.
I sat there for a year in our friendship and I let you push me around, because I know on my bad days, which were not as often as yours, I would push you around too. But it got to a point where I could no longer tolerate it. I could no longer take the pain you give me. I am not saying that every day you hurt me, but more often in our friendship was I upset with choices you made and did to me and I never said anything then was I happy.
I am not sorry that you were too childish to take the real world on as I told you how I felt. You did not even support me in my college and applications, but I supported you in the choices you made in relationships and people you were never in a relationship with, the people you hung out with, and the type of person you wanted to be, but you could never support me in my choice to go to college. How screwed up could one person be. That is when you know someone envies you because you could not even hear the world college out of my mouth unless I wanted you upset at me. That is pretty screwed up.
But you know what I will be sorry for? When your current friends forget you, you and your boyfriend break up, and no one is there for you. Wanna know why? Because you know deep down if you would have never done and said the things you did to me, I would be there through all of that to support you. And maybe one day if you grow up we can talk, but this will no longer be your show, but instead what I ask for, because if you truly did ever want me back, it would take forever to prove that to me.
And I hope you read this and cried because you know you were wrong and you can’t have me back like the other times. But my phone is always on, and my door is always open no matter the circumstances.
P.S. if you want your stuff back you can be an adult and ask me to my face and not hide behind your phone and friends.
I will never be sorry for how I feel, and neither should anyone because we obviously have these feelings for a reason.