Goodbyes

I hope that you all took my challenge of looking around at your friends and realizing which ones are there to uplift you and make you a better person and you made an effort to show your apprectiation with them.

I personally know I struggled with my own challenge, I had to step back and see who benefitted me most and brought me up. Sadly, a week later the decision is still up in the air for the other party but I know the decision I made, and I know that it was the right decision, and when it comes time to share my decision, I pray we made the same one.

This past week I reflected a lot on my life after high school. I know that I will be attending a four year, which has been my goal since I was 8-years old. My heart breaks though when I think about college. My dream college has always  been in Hawaii, that has always been my dream, to live for four years in a paradise. But now as I apply for colleges, and face the real life sadness of the goodbyes I will be saying less than 8 months.

I brought this up to my best friend. She has decided to attend a JC, and I have never been more proud of someone, she has made the choice to further her education and that just makes me so proud of her. But with this choice we will be forced to seperate in a year, and that breaks us both. We both had to realize that our goodbye is coming, that we will not wake up everyday knowing we will see each other in an hour, that we cannot just call each other up and meet in the next 7 minutes it takes to get to each others houses, that on Sunday’s we can not go up to our hang out spot and talk about all the people that have upset us in any way.

With that being said, I go back to my challenge last week, with knowing that college is around the corner, I had to choose who I wanted to conquer that journey with and it is not only my one best friend deciding to be local when she starts her college career, but also my other best friend that is applying to four years like me. I personally made mistakes this week that might affect my decision but I know that in a year when I move into my dorm they are the only girls I will want to call up to tell them about the new cute boys, the town I live in, how my roommates have their own weird habits, and knowing this makes goodbye so hard for me. Knowing that I will not share such an important event in my life with my two best friends kills me because whenever a big event (or even small) occurs in my life, they are the two I go to first, no matter what.

But I will not only be leaving my best friends but my family. I watched my sister go to college a few years back and that was the number one saddest thing to happen in my life thus far. I remember how sad and quiet my house was for the first time in 16 years, since I was the last one to be home. No longer were there over 10 teenagers in  my house all hanging out, no longer did my mom need to make abundance of food for our friends just randomly showing up for dinner, and I know as I leave the house everything will be different. This is my last year for home cooked meals every night by my mom, the last year for my step dad to nag me to close my bedroom door because my floor is too messy, or them telling me to turn off my light every time I leave my room. I know personally I will miss these things the most.

I want everyone, even those done with all of their schooling to embrace everything in their life everyday. As I grow closer to adulthood I see how easy it is for people to just be gone in a blink of an eye, or how your health fails you more often than not. Everyone needs to face the facts that real goodbyes are coming our way and we do not want to regret anything. Say how you truly feel to a person, because if they listen, then they are a true friend and you need to keep them around. Leave a situation if you are not happy, say those types of goodbyes, because if you keep getting hurt you will no longer be a happy, lively person, and  I personally think everyone should be like that.

Now since I did not update last week, I have lost an overall of 21.8 pounds since I have started my  weight loss journey. I look in the mirror every morning and see the progress, and my stomach shrinking.

I would like to thank everyone who has complimented me on my accomplishments, and noticing what I am doing in my life to be a better person, those compliments keep me going some days. And for those that read my blog and take something from it, thank you for supporting me.

I love all of you