Acceptance

As I continue into my second semester as a freshman in college I have seen my life take a complete 180, and for the better.

As I went home for winter break I got to see all of the people I called friends in high school and got to hear about their amazing college experience and see the similarities and differences in our lives, now that we are living our lives the same but so different at the same time.

I also got to reconnect with my friends who chose to stay closer to home and choose a different path of work and school at a two year school, which is just as amazing no matter what anyone says.

And seeing these two perspectives at the same time back in my home town I finally realized, I have accepted life. I have accepted the fact that we HAD to graduate high school,  we HAD to make a decision to continue our education or start in the work for right away, or even the military. And for some people they had yet to find that acceptance, which was strange for me to see at first, but I have later come to my own thoughts and finally see that that is what is comfortable for some peoples acceptance levels right now in their life.

Now that I am in college I finally had the opportunity to live through what people have said to me; “You wont keep the same friends in college that you had in high school”. I always laughed when people told me that, I always thought that I would find the most amazing friends in high school that would stand by me no matter what. But I had to come to the acceptance that that is not the case at all.

I had to come to the acceptance that I had friends in high school that, in reality, did not have the same pathway that I had, or that some friends wanted to postpone this pathway I am in to get settled in the real world first. And the crazy thing is, I have accepted that not everyone is going to do life in a traditional way, and that is okay.

But what I know is not acceptable is not accepting what my friends have chosen for their life pathways.

I want nothing but to be accepting of my friends and family from my hometown and support them in their dreams, but I have come to the realization that those people I would do anything for have changed their mentality since I was home the last time, and that is completely acceptable.

I am taking a sociology course this semester that has really opened my eyes. It has opened my eyes to acceptance in society, and has influenced me to write this post on acceptance. I know that our lives and lifestyles will be different now, but does that mean that the people we once were has to change so drastically?

I know the choices I am choosing are right, they will benefit me in the long run and that is what matters. And I know that my friends back on the mainland living out their lives are choosing the right choices for them and I am nothing but accepting and proud of them.

Take a different outlook on life, accept others, what they are, what they do, what they want to achieve. I think the small things like this are what will start to make this world a better place.

“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard see, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Matthew 17:20

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New Life

Hi guys. Sorry it’s been so long. So much has happened since my last post. And as much as I would like to say I stopped writing for good reasons, I didn’t. I went though some of the darkest times the end of my senior year, but it lead me to the best time of my life. I am now continuing my education in Hawaii and I could not be more thankful. I have lost a lot of high school friends but I was able to find true friends that I needed now for my time in life. I have learned so much since my birthday, around the last time I posted. I was in a very bad car accident that made me question a lot of things. For one why God loves me. I walked away from that accident with no scratches and some bruises when my car was completely totaled. I knew that day I would do nothing but love and cherish my Heavenly Father. A few months down the road I finally made the decision to cut connects with a friend that I loved a lot and now months down the road I see that in that hard time is was worth the pain and sadness and that I got through that pain with Heavenly Father. I also got to make my childhood dream come real, I finally got the chance to further my education in Hawaii. I know I would have never had this opportunity without me being determined and leaning on the Lord for help and guidance. These past 8 months have changed my life so drastically since last November and I could not be any happier with my life. I am still growing every day, learning from the people and culture of my new home, and trying to find myself but I have learned a lot that I need the Lord for my help. No matter what I or anyone I know goes through I hope that we always remember to have the Lord by our side because through our toughest or hardest time in life He is the one man to never leave anyone’s side no matter the circumstances. I am so forever grateful for the gospel and that it is the same no matter where I am and I wanna thank everyone in my life forever. Until next blog. 

Much Love 

Reality

hi guys sorry I have been hiding for so long! life has just been full force recently. I have gotten into two colleges so far, with very big opportunities at both, I have almost completed my big project to graduate, the new year. it’s all come full force and I’ve taken each trial as it comes. 

just the other day life hit me hard, literally. I totaled my car during my lunch time and I could not have been more devastated. I was turning left onto a big intersection going half speed, and my steering wheel would not turn, forcing me to hit the curb, which then made my car slide across the street until I hit the center. both of my air bags deployed and my window had broken. sadly I was in the car with my best friend and all I could think to do was look at her and call my mom as fast as possible. 

right before the accident I was stopped next to a few of my other friends in their cars and we were laughing and blasting music, being high schoolers. as I went to turn all I can remember hearing is my best friends telling “TURN BRITTNY TURN”.

as we got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk I remember all of my friends and classmates drive by to see my accident, I was so embarrassed. 

as the day went on my body hurt more and more. I had a bump on my head, leading to a nonstop migraine, bruises all down my legs, cuts on my hands and even a bruise, and sore muscles from being jolted. 

through all of my shock and hurt I have amazing friends and this made me realize it. we all know that I have had struggles with friends this year and trying to find the true ones and this accident showed me who’s there. I received numerous text and calls right after the accident eve into the next day asking how I’m feeling and coping with it. 

these types of problems in my life I try and keep hidden because I know there is worse in the world, so it is taking me a lot to write this message haha. 

the main reason I was inspired by this accident is because, it’s true, it could all end in the blink of an eye. this accident helped me appreciate life even more than I thought I could. yes my car is totaled. yes I am in pain emotionally and physically. but I’m alive and so is my best friend. 

I’m almost of legal age, and I thought this kind of traumatic experience could never happen to anyone my age, but man was I wrong. I am just grateful that the accident happened the way it did when it did because it could have only been worse. 

reality does what it wants when it wants and all we can do is stand up, look it in the eye, and say bring it on, because no matter what life goes on and things like this cannot stop us, really nothing can. we are all given trials to overcome and build us up, never to bring us down. I love every trial I receive and I know I am only becoming a better person because of it. 

I am forever grateful for those who have come and gone, and those who chose to stay. you made me who I am today and stood by me in my hardest times and I can’t thank you enough. I love all of you and thank you for being in my life. 

New year, better choices

Happy New Years to all of my readers. I am so happy to the life I had this past year. As I look back on my life, I really saw how I matured and how I grew up in 2015. 

Not only did I have to prepare for adulthood and college, but I had to prepare for real life. I have seen that high school only teaches you about a how to compete in a competition of who is better. But as a senior we have to teach ourselves that we must stand up for what we believe in, and to only have people who want to bring you up, because in real life, you either get brought to failure by the people you are surrounding yourself with, or you achieve all of your goals. 

Some days I wish I could stand in front of everyone I know and just shout “THIS IS NOT LIFE. WE CAN ONLY BUILD OUTSELVES!”, but I know that God wants us all to learn on our own. 

I would just like to thank 2015, you put people in my life for the first time ever, you let me reconnect with old friends, you took some of those friends away but not entirely, I only lost one person from death, I grew up to see life as something else, and most importantly I learned who I need to be right now.

But as for 2016, I am deciding that I only make myself happy and not depend on others because that is what leads to disappointment and sadness. This year I will work harder to be a healthier person, and by that I do not mean cut out everything that Satan has sent my way like In-N-Out and ice cream, but what I mean is take into consideration what I am doing to my body and ways I can be better. This year I will put my phone and electronics down more and look at people’s faces and learn about the world to help make it better. 

I am so eager to step into 2016 full force and find myself more and learn more things. Thank you to all that have supported me, brought me down, lifted me up, and everyone that has crossed my path. I love you all and cannot wait to see the things that are done this year. God bless 

Thankful

Lately I have just been so thankful and grateful for the life I have been given. 

I am healthy. 

I have family. (that love me)

I have friends that support me. 

I have a free education that is helping me further my education. 

I have the gospel. (I’m LDS)

And this list is just a few of the things I have that I am so grateful for. 

After this holiday season started I realized that these were the things I needed to thank God for everyday because a year from now I will be starting a new life away from all of these wonderful things that I cannot express how much I love. 

I just wanted to write a thank you letter. Not to people I see everyday but to my Heavenly Father. 

Thank you for everything you have placed my in my life: my friends, my trials, my triumphs, the opportunities I’ve had. I am forever grateful and love every part of it. I love my bad days just as much as I love my good days because everyday I grow and build up. 

I want to challenge everyone to remember to be thankful, not just now during the season for everyday of the year the rest of their lives. 

I love you all and thank you for the support and taking time to read my blog. 

Emotions

So lately I have been stressed out with college apps and trying to keep my grades above a 4.0 GPA as my own goal, and this has lead me to so  much stress. I usually manage stress well, trying to keep my issues to myself becuae I know and have realized that I am not the only one that suffers from the problems I am facing. And so with that said, I tend to turn my stress and anxiety to the comfort from food, which is never the right thing to do.

This is called Emotional Eating, which is a disorder where a person tends to turn to food for a comfort, a stress relief, or a reward for the work we have done well. But with this disorder, you tend to feel worse after you eat not only because food cannot talk and council you through your problems, or write your college apps for you, but also because you feel guilty from over eating. I have realized that this is a problem I face most of the time. Part of the reason I did my senior project on health and fitness is to overcome this struggle I face almost every day, another part is because I face this disorder and so doing my research on it and other disorders, I can better understand why I have this disorder and research the best ways to overcome it.

I lately have been very stressed out and have not been following my new lifestyle the way I want too and that has become an issue. I have started up small habits again and eating when I am stressed out, which stresses me out more because I know I should not be eating like that. No matter how strong I feel, I always break down, and even the littlest piece of chocolate that I could have eaten from stress will make me feel so bad, and so therefore I will refuse to eat.

That is where I am wrong. You should never turn to over eating, or under eating as a way to fix your problems. I do wish that I could have a better way to get rid of this, like go to someone, a friend or an adult I trust, but in today’s society no one wants to go to someone else. We are taught that no one truly is there for us, and they only listen to us to gossip about us.

I personally think that is sad and should never be the truth. This is why people have problems, they feel like they could never go to ANYONE. This is why so many people in our time are being diagnosed with so many disorders, and the medicine provided is not healing them.

With this being said, my future career I want to be apart of is an Eating Disorder Couselor. The industry of disorders is just fake. They make all this money from selling drugs to their patients instead of taking their time to actually talk to them and try and fix a problem instead of just giving them medicine. That is why I chose to join this industry. I hope to be a person who can be there for a patient and not just give them medicine that only gives me money and does not help the patient.

So I am not quiet sure how to end this rant lol but I love you all and thank you for the support.

I don’t really know.

wanted to start this out with i don’t know, but obviously in my title you can tell, i don’t know.

sometimes i sit here and i feel like i have my whole life figured out. the college i want to go to, the type of guy i want to met, when i want to get married and have kids, what career choice i want to be in. but then other days i sit here and think, i just don’t know. is my first choice of college really the right choice? are my friends the right friends? is what i am doing with my life the right thing? do i really want that type of man in my life, or that many kids?

i guess thats the thing about life, we just never really know. as of right now i cannot tell you i will be attending my first choice and that scares me. or that my friend choice right now will still be there when i start and end college.

we can only hope for the white picket fence and the two perfect kids and the well trained dog, but we will never know.

but we are all put here for a reason. even on a non-religious aspect, you have to somewhat believe that. we are here with the people around us for some reason, and that is one thing i know.

i think the surprises in life thrown at us is beneficial to us. not knowing everything is okay, not knowing everything is what makes us grow and learn about everything around us. i love that about the world. that is one time i do not mind not knowing everything. if i knew everything already i would not be here because we are here to learn.

maybe one day though, i will know. i will know why i go through the things i do. i will know the lifestyle i have when i am grown up, and i will know what my purpose in life is.

but as for right now, i do not care to know.  i want to just live my life and go with it all. and hopefully it goes smoothly, but it will lead me to knowing what this all means.

sorry this is 8 hours past wednesday, i feel asleep writing it.

i love you guys